Hanabi in the kitchen
by Gemina
Summary: Okay, this is basically a Hyuuga-centric fic. It is mainly about Hanabi and Hmai-Li, her cousin, the eccentric Hyuuga cook. It also involves Neji to a great extent, and in the future will involve Hinata and Tenten. Nejiten
1. Hanabi and the batter bowl

**Gemina: I do not own Naruto, but I have been named the goddess of Latin!**

Hanabi was an unusual child.

But this was not entirely her fault.

You see, Hanabi never had a mother. Now, there are certainly people who don't have mothers who ended up normal, but this was not the only contributing factor.

She had Hmai-Li.

Early on, she was taken care of random Hyuuga mothers, and maids and such, but in the end, all responsibility for her fell on Hmai-Li.

Hmai-Li was also an unusual child. She had a natural talent when it came to cooking, and had quickly gotten the kitchen mainly to herself.

And so, Hanabi spent most of her young days in the kitchen, on the counter, sticking her hands in the food.

Then, one day, Hiashi found out that all the people he'd assigned to take care of Hanabi had left her with the 10 year old cook. Needless to say, he was not happy.

It played out something like this:

Hiashi stormed into the kitchen.

Hmai-Li, however, took no notice of him, as she busily prepared and assortment of cakes ( the elders hated it when any of their cakes looked alike) for the oven. Hanabi was sitting in one of the cake batter bowls, licking it out happily.

Hiashi took one look at the sticky state of his three year old daughter, and bellowed:

" What is the meaning of this?!"

Hmai-Li ( who had not seen him come in) screamed and threw a cake in the air. Hanabi giggled.

" Maggot."

Hmai-Li caught the cake and looked over at Hiashi in startlement. She quickly set the cake down ( unfotunately, within Hanabi's reach) and bowed hastily.

" What is the matter, Lord Hiashi? What brings you to my kitchen in such a rage, to startle a poor cook as myself?"

Hiashi blinked. Hmai-Li always had been weird. That was probably how the others had managed to force Hanabi on her for so long.

Hanabi giggled again.

"Maggot."

Hiashi frowned.

" What did she say?"

" Oh, she just said maggot. That's all she ever says."

" What?! She's three, and all she can say is maggot?!"

" Maggot."

"Yep. Oh yeah, and she can scream really really high pitched. She's gifted like that."

From any other Hyuuga, Hiashi would have assumed that was sarcasm, but this was Hmai-Li.

" Where are the women who are supposed to be watching her?!"

Hmai-Li looked around, as if she might spot them hiding somewhere in her modest kitchen. She shrugged after finding no one.

" Somewhere else."

Hiashi could almost feel a vein pop in his temple.

" THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING HANABI!!"

Hmai-Li shrugged and went back to the cakes.

" Maybe you should tell them that."

Hiashi growled and snatched Hanabi up, who immediately started screaming "Maggot!" as if her life depended on it. He tried to get her to shut up, but to no avail.

No wonder those women had left her.

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	2. Neji and the stove

**Neji is now going to say my disclaimer for me!**

**Neji: Gemina owns nothing mentioned in this story, which is a pack of lies, except Hmai-Li and Haruka.**

**Hey!**

Hanabi liked spending time in Hmai-Li's kitchen

Hanabi liked spending time in Hmai-Li's kitchen. She could remember it from way back. Strangely enough, her most vivid memory was about sitting in a cake batter bowl while her father yelled about something.

Hmai-Li's kitchen often offered a refuge from the scrutiny of the elders (who were all insane.)

Plus, talking to Hmai-L meant knowing what was going in both families, and many past stories she was too young to know about.

Today, she was hoping for a story, as she helped Hmai-Li spoon cookie dough onto the cookie sheet.

Her prayers were answered when Hmai-Li suddenly piped up

"Have you ever heard the story about Neji and the stove?"

Hanabi eagerly shook her head. A story and dirt on Neji! Two for one!

Hmai-Li grinned.

"It was a long time ago, when Neji was about three…

_Haruka was running around the kitchen, trying to get dinner ready on time. If it was not on time, the elders would be grumpy, and grumpy elders always meant more horrible rules._

_As she ran, she balanced Neji on her hip. The poor kid's mother had died a few years earlier, and now it all fell to her to watch him, because his father was on a mission, and the women who were supposed to watch him had left him here._

_She ran to get a pot off the stove, and didn't bother to turn the stove itself off. The Hyuuga could, after all, afford any gas bill. She quickly stirred the contents and poured them into a bowl, quickly attempting to mix in sugar and still hold Neji._

_She groaned and set him down on the nearest surface. Neji began to whimper._

_"Shhhh! I'll pick you up in a minute! I'm trying to work Neji!"_

_Neji kept whimpering._

_She decided to ignore him. He'd always clung to her like a leech, and he could stand a few minutes by himself._

_She continued to stir, trying to bring the contents of the bowl to a fluffy state. Neji was wailing in the background._

_Then she stopped to sniff the air. Something was burning, and it smelled disgusting!_

_She turned around to check the stove, only to find Neji sitting on it wailing._

_Pandemonium ensued, as she screamed and yanked Neji off, and people burst in because they heard her scream, why they hadn't come when Neji was wailing, she had no idea, but the kitchen was pretty soon crowded with well-meaning ( and some just looking for entertainment) Hyuuga. Instructions flew back and forth, as everyone tried to tell each other what to do._

_"Elevate it!"_

_"Put ice on it!"_

_"Call the police!"_

_"Get me a cake!"_

_"Put aloe vera on it!"_

_"Give me ice, I'm getting a headache!"_

_"Don't drop him!"_

_"Why are we in here?"_

_"Who screamed?!"_

_"Ew! What's that smell?!"_

_"Someone clean the stove!"_

_"Bandage it!"_

_"Don't speak to me like that, I'm an elder!"_

_And so on._

_Eventually, Neji got his leg taken care of, and to this day he has two circular burns on his leg._

" …And that is why Neji wears bandages on his leg."

Hanabi finished licking the cookie dough off her spoon.

She wondered if the tale was true. With Hmai-Li, one could never tell.

She spooned out some more dough.

Wait a minute; she knew how to find out!

She put her spoon back in the bowl and jumped off the counter.

Racing out off the kitchen, she yelled for all Hyuuga to hear:

"Hey Neji, C'mere a minute!"

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	3. Neji and Tenshi, sitting in a tree

**I own nothing in this fic, except Hmai-Li. My twin doesn't own anything either. Not even Hmai-Li. She thought of "Horse Devour" though.**

Hanabi strayed in the kitchen, helping Hmai-Li with her latest creation: Something she kept calling a "Horse Devour", whatever that was.

It had cherries.

But no horse.

She dutifully put every cherry where it went...except for the ones she put in her mouth. Hmai-Li was too busy with the rest of dinner to notice. Though Hmai-Li spent every waking hour in the kitchen, she somehow managed to forget to start dinner on time.

Hanabi was hoping for a story, but if she prompted Hmai-Li, Hmai-Li would not give her a story, she'd give her a look and say: " Hanabi, you know I don't like gossip."

She had to be sneaky about it. She sat munching on a cherry, trying to think up a good way to get another story out of Hmai-Li, when Neji came in.

" Hmai-Li, could I have some of your salve?"

Hmai-Li was one of the few Hyuugas who knew anything about modern medicine. The Hyuuga medics were backwards, and their solutions often involved horse dung.

Hmai-Li nodded and went to get it.

" Yeah, what for?"

Neji held up a noticably bumpy red arm.

"Poision ivy."

Hmai-Li snorted.

" Neji! Don't you know what poision ivy looks like?"

Hanabi giggled. Neji frowned.

" Of course I know what it looks like! I had no choice in the matter! Give me the salve already!"

Hmai-Li looked over at Hanabi and raised an eyebrow. Hanabi smiled. Hmai-Li had sensed a good story.

Hmai-Li grabbed the salve, and held it away from Neij, as if he couldn't easily overpower her. She grinned at him.

" What do you mean 'had no choice in the matter'? Did you do it on a dare?"

Neji was not happy. He sent Hmai-Li a look that would have withered anyone else. But not Hmai-Li. She was herself, and being herself, she was not intimidated by things that should have set off the alarm bells in her head.

" C'mon, Neji, no story, no salve! We won't tell anyone, right Hanabi?"

Hanabi nodded eagerly. Neji rolled his eyes.

" Like I can trust you gossips. Just give me the salve."

Hmai-Li shook her head and grinned.

" A story for the salve Neji. Pay up!"

Hanabi hopped off the table to be closer to the conversation.

" Was it that girl on your team, Tentai?"

" Tenten, Hanabi."

" Really? I thought her name was Tenshi!"

" No Hmai-Li, it's always been Tenten."

" She probably changed her name."

" No Hmai-Li. I said always!"

" Did she make you go get all poision ivy-y?"

"...That's not a word Hanabi."

" Eeeep! That was it! That was it! I knew it was Tenshi!"

" Tenten! Her name is Tenten! And no, it was not her fault!"

" Neji has a girlfriend, Neji has a girlfriend!"

" Shut up Hanabi!"

" Neji and Tenshi, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. That's kissing, Hanabi."

" I can spell!"

" Never mind! Forget the stupid salve!"

Neji stormed out of the kitchen. Hmai-Li and Hanabi blinked.

" Well, someone is rude!"

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	4. Why are you in the kitchen!

**Written with a ridiculous amount of help from my twin, CaramelRevenge, who is very obnoxious. **

**Neither of us own anything whatsoever mentioned in this story. Except Hmai-Li and Hideaki of course. And no, Hideaki does not exist in the actual Naruto universe, he is completely and totally made up by CaramelRevenge.**

Hanabi had a lot of cousins. That's what happens when cousins get married. Almost everyone in the clan was her cousin.

She preferred the ones near her age, though. Like Neji, or Hmai-Li.

She liked Hinata too, but Hinata wasn't her cousin.

And then there was Hideaki. He'd always been the responsible sort, and he was a ninja as well.

The elders thought he was crazy.

They were ashamed of him because Hideaki was the only Hyuuga who wore glasses.

He was not the only Hyuuga who needed glasses, he was just the only one who didn't have a ridiculous ego. Most other Hyuuga had way too much pride to wear glasses where anyone could see them. Hanabi thought even Neji wouldn't wear glasses, no matter how badly he needed them.

There was a theory that Hideaki was dropped on his head multiple times and therefore did not have an ego. Or a 'sensible disposition', because not only did he lack the ridiculously oversized ego that was required for him to refuse glasses, he was also polite - to everyone, branch and main- nice to little animals, and was dating a girl who was not a Hyuuga. He could get away with that because he was a Main family member.

He also had the strange notion that justice should prevail, rather than the rather popular Hyuuga notion that 'The strong are fated to crush the weak.'

On this fine morning, Hideaki was helping Hmai Li in the kitchen, because he did not consider it below his station.

Hmai-Li was already falling behind, due to the elders' ridiculous demands on her time.

Hanabi was also in the kitchen, but she was not much help. She was just sitting on the counter, eating out of the sugar canister with a spoon.

Hmai-Li snatched the canister out of Hanabi's hands to measure a cup of sugar, then handed it back. Hideaki busily flipped pancakes.

"Hmai-Li!" the shout came from the Main family dining room, and it sounded like an elderly person's voice.

"I'm hurrying!" Hmai-Li screeched. Her voice was extra squeaky, due to a cold she had contracted in the middle of Summer. She frantically stirred the coffee cake batter, then reached with a spatula to flip some bacon. It was a wonder she didn't drop anything.

"Pancakes are ready!" Hideaki declared loudly, quickly setting the plate of hot pancakes on the counter, next to the syrup. Hanabi helped herself to one.

As far as Hanabi could tell, everything was either ready or close to ready except the coffee cake. That was unfortunate, since it was the elders favorite part of the meal. They really liked cake. And pancakes didn't count.

She pondered this while she ate the syrup with a spoon.

" Hey, where's Hideaki?" came floating in from the dining room.

" I'm in the kitchen!" He unashamedly shouted. Hanabi giggled. She could see the look on the elder's faces.

" You're supposed to be in here!" Came horrified voice of an elder.

" What are you doing in the kitchen?!" Asked another panicked elder.

" I'm helping Hmai-Li!"

Hanabi laughed as she heard elder sqwauk. She heard another choking on something, which was kind of weird, considering they weren't eating yet. She hoped he wasn't choking on his bile or something, because that would be really gross.

" Get in here!"

" In a minute! Hmai-Li needs help with the coffee cake!" He called back, apparently not hearing the death threat tone the elder used.

" I do like cake." Piped up one of the less sane elders.

" Hey, wait a minute, where's Hanabi?"

" I'm in the kitchen, but I'm not helping!" She called, after swallowing the syrup in her mouth.

She could hear murmurs of approval from the elders. Before they could remember that Hideaki was doing something that was taboo, Hmai-Li burst in with breakfast, as the cakes had finished cooking.

And that, was a Hyuuga morning.

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